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Writer's pictureLesego Ditlhake

All day that look was in my mind, that look of hate...

Here I am, flowers in hand, at the foot of her bed.

She is sound asleep.

Oh God…. 

Robin.  My Angel.

How did we get here? 


It’s not all my fault.  I love this woman. There is no one else for me. None but her.

I wonder if another man could love her better? 


I can still remember the day we met like it was yesterday.

She was so sweet, so stunning and so delicate. How could I not fall for her?

I’m just glad she chose me. She loved me. She accepted me.


The scary thing is that I’ve never cared so much about anyone, ever. 

I don’t want to lose her. We’re both not perfect.

I get jealous.

She fusses.

I get angry.

She criticises.


Pause.


The pain in my chest... Seeing her like this is torture.

For it to even get this far...I’m just…Still in shock.

What even happened? 


Five years. FIVE WHOLE YEARS.

Apparently to her, our life together was no big deal. 

I thought that we were going to grow old together.


I couldn’t let her walk out.

I couldn’t let her throw us away.

All she had to do was listen.

I gave her so many chances. 


I just wanted to love her!


I rest my hand on top of hers.


All of a sudden, her beautiful brown eyes painfully flicker open. She looks up at me.

Looking back down at her, as I grapple with the lump in my throat, she seems so limp. 

Could things ever be like they once were between us? 


Tears fell from her face as our eyes met.

“I should’ve walked away while... I still could”, she murmured.

The tremor in her voice wasn’t hard to miss.


“I never meant for this all to happen. I’m sorry.,” I muster up.


At that moment, a nurse came and says, “Visiting hours are over sir. I can put those flowers in water for you while you say your goodbyes”.


I handed the nurse the flowers. 

I kissed Robin’s trembling hand.


As I left the room, I glanced back and forced a smile.

Robin didn’t blink once, she glared at me.


All day that look was in my mind, that look of hate.

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